So - after the requisite 48-hour “call-free”
zone was over (you know, just to make sure they don’t get the idea that you’re
too interested, or worse: a creeper) I started feeling a little anxious.
Mostly because i'm a girl. And also, because I have lifelong anxiety issues.
And then, by Wednesday when he hadn’t called,
my inner critic revved up his loud, nasty rhetoric and started blaming ME for Mr. Man not
calling! What was it about ME that Mr.
Man suddenly decided he didn’t like? Or,
did I just COMPLETELY mis-read his signals?
I have, after all, not been dating regularly since my last LTR ended,
going on...THREE YEARS NOW.
So yeah, that was it. Either I had completely mis-read him, or (now its 72
hours later and i have fabricated a different scenario) perhaps he had found out something terrible about me and my past
(and i'm not talking about “The Slutty Years” in my early 20’s.) I'm talking about the period after that, in my mid-20’s, when I was a hot
D.J., still drinking alcohol, and I told a fellow D.J. that NO, I did NOT have cats, when he asked me whether I
did, after D.J.’ing a successful set at DECO
in SF and inviting him over to hang at my house. He was allergic you see, and when
we got to my house, he quickly found out that I DID have cats, but i lied about it because i wanted to make out, and in addition to being fairly drunk and not giving a sh#t about his allergies, i was too much of a
self-centered a-hole to not understand how much cat allergies were usually a
HARD NO for ppl.
But he was gracious about it, though I
did manage to catch him making a mental note about what a self-centered a-hole I
actually was…at least in that moment. We
tried making out, but he started sneezing and had to exit the building rather
quickly.
And I hear you asking, well, what does
this bad behavior in your mid 20's have to do with Mr. Man? As it turns out, absolutely NOTHING, BUT - After that successful Saturday date, I came
home and FaceBook stalked Mr. Man (he has an unusual name) and I found out that we
had THAT FRIEND in common.
Yes I know, that scenario is just a
bit of a S-T-R-E-T-C-H. But, when you’re
“like me” and trying to make sense out of WHY a man, who was seemingly very
into you, SAID he would call you and then DOENST call you, lets just say that
the tales that my creative mind tends to weave in those times are very “out
there.”
So, after speaking to my girlfriend on
Saturday (a full six days later) about my predicament (I mean, why
is he gonna say he will call if he has no intention of calling?!? Should I take
that as a HINT-HINT? And blah blah blah with her for another 15 minutes), I decided I just
needed to WOMAN THE FUCK UP and call him.
Or at least send him a text. So I
did. And it said:
“heya – u interested in connecting
again? At some point in the near(er) future? just checking in…"
5 minutes later, I receive a text back
from him:
“Hey! For sure…ive been a bit
distracted since I saw you last, from some bad news regarding my housing….”
A familiar story in the bay area.
And wow…imagine that, I’m not the
center of Mr. Man’s Universe. And his not calling me had absolutely nothing to
do with me. Zip, Zero, Zilch, NADA.
And though I will continue to be
annoyed at ppl. who say they're going to do something (“I’ll call you) and then don’t
do it, perhaps next time, I will be less inclined to jump to the conclusion
that their lack of follow-through has anything to do with me.
Or not. A girl can dream tho…
