Diary entry 6/17/14:

Diary entry 6/17/14:

I am having such hard feelings right now, I just wanted to stop and take a moment to suss them all out. 

We came home from Disneyland tonight at around 9pm and Tre and I HAD IT OUT.  And he went to bed feeling REALLY BAD and crying (and I see why he feels REALLY BAD and perhaps he should have a really good cry about that) and I am in bed feeling a mix of emotions: mother guilt (it’s a special varietal), sadness, anger, frustration, grief, loss.  And I am also very, very tired.  14 hours of driving, very little good sleep on day/night 1 for Tre and me, two theme parks in two days…its just all added up and I had HAD it.  I was at the end.  And tre knew that I was already beyond beyond because of a little incident that happened at the In-n-out Burger in Kettleman, California.  

Getting the proper nourishment to recover from yesterday's activities and the day ahead.

And I will veer a little bit off course here to say this: I had a whole bunch of cray stories about the Sun’s behavior saved up to share, but I am having mixed emotions as to what to share and what NOT to share.  I mean, lets be honest here, should I share certain disturbing stories about what happened during our Epic Journey to Disneyland?  Should I out myself like that?   After all, I am the parent and he is the child and I have been, up to about this moment, one of the most important teachers and role models in his life…what does this behavior reveal about me is what I am really asking here people!!!

For now, I will leave it off the printed page and store it in a less permanent fashion.  Who knows what’s next.  What I do know is that I learned a LOT on this little journey with the Sun and friend.  For instance, I learned that:

·         A tall Starbucks Coffee in Downtown Disney (not officially part of Disney, FYI, that's important in a moment) costs $2.25 as compared to $1.75 in Oakland, AND there is no tip jar.

·         A tall Starbucks Coffee in the cafe in Disneyland (officially part of Disney) will not allow re-useable cups for "sanitary reasons."

·         They are mainly looking for weapons at the front door when they search your bag.   I did not, however, spot any type of body scanner, nor do they pat you down.

·         There is far less "carnival food" i.e. garlic fries, caramel apples, fried dough, than i had remembered.  I could not get a caramel apple in Disneyland to save my life!  The boys took me to a shop in Downtown Disney...mediocre at best.

·         a triplet is going to feel so liberated from his family for a bit (and just as eager to get back to his own brand of crazy!) that it's always an enthusiastic "Yes!" from him. 

·         an only child of divorced parents is gonna have some ish...thank the good lord himself that we have managed to contain it thus far...hawt dog!

and one final note:  clearly, it is no longer about the "magic."  Mr. Walt Disney himself would be rolling over in his grave right now if he knew what his legacy has wrought...or however that sentence gets put together.  Gone are the days when one would look wistfully at sparkling clean gardens - in the middle of a theme park, mind you - and gain comfort in the knowing that the people behind the scenes took a certain amount of pride in their work.  No longer are the cast members there to make sure your experience is worth the obscene ticket price...oh no friends.  These post-modernist cast members aren't nearly paid enough for that kind of job.  I think it would speak volumes about our piss-ant of an economy to see the Boss-to-worker-wage-ratio when Walt himself was command and nowadays.  Nowadays, the CEO of Walt Disney, Inc. is none other than Bob Iger, an unremarkable looking white male, early 50's, possible dye-job who I SWEAR, looks here as if someone has just shoved a broomstick up his arse!  gawd almighty is he stiff!

My point is: unless there is some compelling reason to go, other than your child's American citizenship, which apparently provides for a "Disneyland stipend" or per child quota of some sort, DON'T GO!  Really, don't go.  But then really...WTF...who is my audience here?!?

xo

ritz