ROBIN WILLIAMS

7/21/1951 a.d. - 8/11/2014 a.d.

I am so glad that I am not famous.  Seriously.  One night long ago, I had a dream that I was indeed famous.  Not rich and famous, more like famous and revered. And Jeebus CHRIST was I glad when I woke up!  First thought that sprung to my mind upon awakening: “Be careful what you wish for…”

I am also glad that I have created my own format in which to rant.  Because I am SO SICK AND TIRED of mainstream media putting this huge frame up around Robin Williams’ battle with mental illness and scapegoating depression and addiction for the suicide in which we are ALL accountable.   Seriously - give the guy some credit, dammit! This brilliant man survived the daily Hollywood GRIND for damn near 40 years!  This man has had massive chunks ripped out of his psyche, has borne the stifling crush of the media, day in day out…harassing him, harassing his precious family, leaving him no peace.  And then branding him an addict and making certain that his course through rehab is made embarrassingly public.  Sick.  I mean, it’s not like his story is all that unusual.  Time and time again we have seen Hollywood elite sucked into that powerful vortex and come out a str8 mess on the other side…just look at Mel Gibson, FFS!

And I am not a big believer in the whole “price of fame” bullshit, whereby Robin knew what he was getting into when he pursued his love of acting.  No people.  He did not.   Nobody knows what they are getting into when they open themselves up to the potential for that kind of fame because the soul-sucking machine we call Hollywood is ever-changing, becoming ever-more lucrative and dangerous in equal parts.  He gave and gave and gave - because he is a giver - and he used it all up.  It has been said that we all have “so many miles” in us, and we can use those miles up fast or slow.  As a comedian, Robin Williams was a master at transmuting what we might refer as “darkness” into light, in the form of laugher and joy.  We need that here, especially in times like these.  Most of the greatest comedy is borne from  tragedy, and some of our greatest comedians from tragic situations.  Why are we surprised when this process of transmutation takes a toll on a body, especially if that body is, for whatever reason, an ultra-sensitive conduit, like I suspect Robin may have been?  

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."  -  Newton's Third Law

My point is this: mental illness today is not the exception, it’s the norm.  When I step outside my house in the morning, I know that I am going to come up against way more crazy than i am sanity, and my job is to move through it, until i get home and can let it all go.  

My own personal journey has seen me all over, around and through the mental illness spectrum.  Fortunately, I have had the time, space and privacy to figure out what I needed to do in order to cope and begin to heal myself.  I can’t imagine Robin having much privacy, if any at all, for long stretches of time.  Can you just imagine how that must shred at your already fragile sense of self?!?  Sometimes I am feeling so raw and exposed that it is all I can do to take a deep breath and present my best self to the world, whatever that best self looks like, and sometimes, it ain’t pretty.  Think of what happens when all of your ugly is bill-boarded for the world to see.  Damn. Really sorry, Robin.  Really.  Fucking. Sorry.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Let’s remember where were are and let’s begin acknowledging the reality right in front of our very eyes, so that we can begin to heal that reality. 

Robin Williams – I breathe in today and remember that I am another you.  Thank you for your service.