Ritz Kracka

Ritz Kracka

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Halloween 2014 – “Pris - 8.0”


I knew Halloween was doomed when the Sun rejected it.  It’s like when the world rejected Pluto.

“But you simply CANNOT reject Pluto as a planet NOOOWWWWW!” we objected, those of us who grew up with Pluto the Planet, Pluto the Dog, and just the general Pluto-ness of the EN-tire Solar System.  Ahem.

“Nope.” said NASA, or whatever governing body governs such things as when a planet is a planet and is then demoted to “ dwarf-planet“ status.  I mean I get it - as technology marches on developing finer and finer measuring tools, and we inevitably end up “discovering” more and more “stuff” out there, we have to re-define when a “thing” becomes a “thing.” Or else we will have waaaaaaaayyyy TOO many “things.” And then what?  Well then, we have a show called HOARDERS -

When I announced my costume idea to the Sun, he demanded to know, “What happened to Pris 2.0 – 7.0?

Well – not demanded.  More like I demanded “And what happened to Pris 2.0 – 7.0 you ask?” He cocked his head at me, a look of annoyance, confusion and fascination all rolled up into one.

I leaned in, closer, to his ear…”…they’re all rolled up into me.”

To which he shrieked back in mock fear and then snickered at my robust, if not overly-boisterous theory.

Thinking back, I’m really not sure where the idea for Pris - 8.0 came from.  Once the Sun quit Halloween, I realized that was my ticket to quit Halloween.  Except, you see, maybe I wasn’t quite 
ready to quit Halloween. 

So late on Wednesday when I remembered there was a “Skin” Boat party on Halloween night, I started to get excited about the possibility of an adult Halloween, meaning one without kids.  Until the child is 18, this is what this means.

I’m thinking about clever costume ideas and I remember that I still have this ‘do going on and how could I make the most of this ‘do.  Well, considering that I am surrounded by video, technology, futuristic images of all sorts, and PLUS we are in some dark times right now, and PLUS the 30th anniversary of Bladerunner was 2012…it all came together in one flash of brilliance (as these things often do):  Pris - 8.0. 

So - what happened to Pris 2.0 – 7.0? No need.  Pris - 8.0 is just that much better. Pris the Original was known as the “basic pleasure model”  Pris - 8.0 is known simply as "MILF" – ‘nuff said.  In the future, we use acronyms – it’s much faster.  Does anyone know what FML means?  I do.  It stands for “Fuck My Life.”  We didn’t say such things when I was 11 years old.  Then again, the Sun is much better adjusted and happy than I was at 11. 

Pris - 8.0: Not a white face anymore, because alabaster is OUT.  IN is brown, golden brown.   
Picture a scene out of the Matrix II where all of the beautiful brown people of Zion are dancing the freedom dance!  And how would ppl know I was Pris?  Well - the raccoon eyes of course!  I’d be a dead ringa!

But when I went out to the Party, nobody knew who I was.  And – a spell worse than that - nobody even cared.

“Do you know who I’m supposed to be?” I finally asked a friend, when I had received not one remark, nor one single query about my badass costume.
“Um. Scary?” she replied.  I wanted to walk out the club right there.  I KNEW when I had made the commitment to stand in that dreaded line that I was coming eerily close to hipster-ville.  I could feel the energy.  It’s the energy of  “…why do we SEE hipster on you, but we don’t FEEL hipster?”  It can be very confusing…sort of like cognitive dissonance, when you have an expectation,  a preconceived notion about how someone is, how someone walks in this world, based on how they look – to you. To clear this up for everyone: it’s the brown skin.  I have witnessed time and time again brown folks - who are NOT of the hipster variety - get a sort of automatic “pass” into hipster-ville.  Which they should, since the word “hip” is, after all, derived from the Black experience.  Whether or not they want the pass is a personal issue. 

So they are all getting this hipster vibe off me, but are also not really feeling me, so I realize I’m just gonna have to feel myself (a-GAIN), so the first band really does it for me.  Enough so that when the first band goes off and there is an intermission, I grab a vacated seat up top so that I have a bird’s eye view of the stage.

The next act hits the stage and begins to “warm-up,” part of the act is a tall, thin, black gender-bending man with an obvious wig, and a white woman with an eye patch - both in black pointy boots, both in long black trench-coats…stretching.  Seriously: like lunges and deep-knee bends.  So at first, I’m thinking, wow! There is going to be this really hot dance show accompanying more of the kind of music that I had just heard! But when the music starts to play and they begin their dance, which is nothing more than gyrating nearly nude (yes the trench-coats come off), up on everyone and everyTHING…musical instruments, the floor, each-other, I decide to call it.

Back home I think to myself: where is my space?    Two weeks ago, I stood in the center of a room full of black women of all shades (except ‘half-breed’ shade) trying to dance the rhythm of our (black) ancestors, and I could palpably feel my difference.  And I couldn’t dance my dance because of it.  Tonight, I danced my dance, but my dance got cut short by a group called the Itchy-O and their full-on grope-fest during what I THOUGHT was supposed to be a music show! 
So I ask myself again - where is my space?  Where are my people?  And then a still-small voice inside says “its ALL HERE love, you just have to sort out the pieces.”

xo
ritz

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