5-3-15: 7a.m
My eyes crack open on this glorious Sunday before my
birthday! I rise out of bed, full of pep
and zeal and ready to begin the events I have planned for myself - on this most auspicious
of occasions….my birthday. I don’t know
what it is about my birthday, but it has always been that day where it has felt OK for me to feel special….all.day.long.
So I make sure I always take full advantage of this.
This year, I have planned an over-nighter up to Harbin Hot Springs. For those of you who have never
been there, I can hardly describe it, except to say “Clothing Optional.” It is also incredibly beautiful, nestled deep
in the woods of Lake County, just north of the Napa Valley. I have been to Harbin at least a handful of times,
sometimes alone, sometimes with a partner.
Today I am flying fly solo and will be spending the night there and
enjoying the full moon experience at precisely 8:42 pm tonight, PST.
As I rise from the toilet and look back to flush, my eye
catches the side of the toilet bowl – Oh FFS, Jeebus, you CANNOT be for real! On my BIRTHDAY??? At the NUDIE SPA????? BUT THIS IS ALL WRONG!!! i insist. To nobody.
Now for those of you who are sitting back
wondering how it is that I couldn’t have known that my period was to come
precisely on the day that I scheduled myself to go to the clothing-optional hot
springs, I have two words for you: 47.
And I know there are worse things than to be on your period
at the nudie spa, but all I can think about is that I am going to have to deal
with this conspicuous STRING hanging out of my nether regions, and that is not
how I want to present!
Especially being a single, available woman, and before you start getting
all grossed out about the potential for catching a date at the nudie spa, I say
this: it could happen. And really,
Harbin has gotten a bad reputation in the past for being full of sleazies, but
it’s not, i mean, i go there, right?! And
besides, the gays and the furrinurs (that's pronounced "foreigners" for those of you who don't speak 'Murican) seem to have taken the place
over anyway, so whatever reputation it earned in the past seems to have faded like yesterday's laundry hung out to dry too long.
Anyway. Whatever. As I start to rifle through my options, (there
are two), I ponder again whether a real Deva® Cup might hold more than
the cheapie disposable option I purchased - let’s call it the Don’t-a® , which
is super-rigid and is really only reliable after day #3. I dunno, I just never thought that i(t) was
worth the $35 price tag. I still don’t, throw
in a couple of Don’t-as, and make a run to the Walgreen’s for a box of
tampons.
2 p.m.
I arrive at Harbin, unpack my things and get myself situated
on the front deck. I know that before I
settle in and get good and nude, I need to deal with my woman-thing. On the drive up, I have decided that my
period has not yet begun in earnest and so perhaps for this first day I WOULD
be ok with the knock-off cup. I look through my toiletries bag, once, twice, three times and DAMMIT no Donta’s! Apparently I left them unpacked somewhere in
the bathroom. I grab a tampon and head
for the bathroom.
Yep. I embody CONSPICUOUS on the walk from the bathroom to the deck, now in
full-nude. And I am trying to be
comfortable with the whole string-out-of-the-nether-regions situation, but I am
just not! I feel like i am being watched
left and right, even as i know that there are precisely zero fucks being given about me and my "situation" at this particular moment.
It's not until 2 or so hours later that suddenly, out of nowhere I realize – wait
– that tampon isn’t going anywhere! It finally dawns on me how my body works and that I can actually push the string “out of view” so to speak,
without fear that the tampon will vanish inside my body! EUREKA!
I'm back in the game again.
8:00 p.m.
I am half-way passed out on my bed and willing
myself to get ready for the Full Moon ceremony happening at the warm pool just
outside my window.
8:30 p.m.
I hear chanting. I
cannot move. It's like i have sleep paralysis. But i am not asleep.
9:00 p.m.
The chanting has stopped and I force myself to go outside
and LOOK at the full moon, not full anymore since it is now 9 p.m. I stumble out of
my room and look down at a bunch of full-moon revelers. I must look awkward, fully clothed, and
bumbling out to catch a glance of the moon.
Which I do, and then turn right back around and go back upstairs. And pass out.
5-4-15 8 a.m. (my birthday)
I wake up and realize that I am not going to make the 8 a.m.
yoga class. I make my way to the café for a cup of coffee
and perhaps a tasty treat for my birthday!
The guy in front of me asks about what’s inside that delicious-looking
croissant...rasberry! But apparently nobody has informed him that
its my birthday and he takes it for himself. He doesn't even smile at me as he walks by with his score. Asshole.
10:00 a.m.
My mind drifts to- and- fro- as I lay on the deck and let my
body finally relax. I try hard to stay
in the moment, but I know that the clock has started ticking on my departure
time, so it’s difficult. I’m thinking
about what I need to do in order to be ready to go, then I think about dinner
plans (do I have food in the house?), then I think about that time at Ecstatic
Dance when I was so awkward with this guy who I think is super-cute (I laugh
about this out-loud, folks next to me must think I’m cray). Back and forth, to and fro my mind wanders,
and I realize I need to pee and get up and head to the bathroom, and walk
straight into…the dude who I am crushing on at Ecstatic Dance. My face lights up, and he doesn’t know
why. And he is naked, and I am
naked. And I say “Hi There!” as we get
closer, thinking what the fuck do I do, do I go in for a hug? And this little voice inside me says “Lean
in!” And I say back to this little
voice, “Wait, what? I thought we weren’t supposed to lean in!” And it says “Lean
in!” again, so I lean in, and he catches me with his hands on my shoulders and I
turn to the side and he plants a kiss on me.
A kiss from the dude who I am crushing on at Ecstatic dance
in the nude at Harbin Hot Springs on my 47th birthday.
I was self-conscious for the remaining part of my stay but it
was all worth it.
Happy Birthday to me.
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