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"FLAGYL" |
Two weeks after my trial ended, I am now nursing a case of Bacterial Vaginosis - with the super-antibiotic Flagyl...the likes of which i haven't seen since my college college days in the hot Arizona sun running competitive track and field in 120 degree heat - and spandex.
I knew something wasn’t quite right with my va-jay-jay after my trial with the bladder supports for a couple of reasons: I had some slight cramping, and then A couple of days later …there was that peculiar, yet very familiar, um. smell.
You know the one, ladies!
Most of us have had this very common vaginal infection at some point in our lives, and those of you who have NEVER had it, well then, you should be donating your body to science! Briefly, bacterial vaginosis results from
when you eff up the normal pH balance in your va-jeene. This can be accomplished in a
number of ways, tampons, sex, and apparently bladder supports. Your va-jeene responds to this foreign object by trying to balance the *imbalance* by
growing bad, smelly bacteria, that must be destroyed by powerful antibiotics, such
as the tried, true and tested Flagyl.
Even the name *Flyagl* is gross because its name alludes to what the
medicine is killing: the nasty, smelly bacterias,who have taken up residence in
your tender bits…and they have little flagella - whip-like tails, that allow for mobility. Ewwwwww.
So what did I do when i had the thought that - just maybe - i had upset the pH balance in my vagina just a wee bit? Weeeeelllll, there was no discharge, there was no associated pain, I am not currently having *intimate
relations* so yeah, i didn't put a rush on it. Instead, i (temporarily) talked myself into the idea that perhaps it would *clear up* on its own, when i went on my yoga retreat (three days later) and got really, really healthy all of a sudden from all the great food! Or perhaps, I was just freaking out and it wasn’t anything at all (that actually happened at my last annual exam, where I thought there was something, and it was nothing), or maybe it HAD cleared up that time.
And then, first day in Mexico, my period arrives (lol god) and now, here it is a week later and I have an actual date this afternoon, and i'm thinking…I gottta get this checked out!
And then, first day in Mexico, my period arrives (lol god) and now, here it is a week later and I have an actual date this afternoon, and i'm thinking…I gottta get this checked out!
So I go in today, and begin to tell Dr. Wu the story of
Poise Impressa, and he interrupts me and says, “Just tell me when the smell
started.”
Me: About two weeks ago, when I tried this new product…called
“Poise Impressa Bladder Supports.” It looks like a big tampon that you put inside that
rests against your bladder and stops leaks and…
Dr. Wu: Well, I mean now, common sense, you shouldn’t be using
anything up there that may cause an imbalance and…
Me: (now slightly
offended that my common sense is apparently in question) : well, Dr., this is a
new product, and so really, how
was I to KNOW that it would upset my female parts?
Dr. Wu: Oh, oh, it’s a
product you are using? (Apparently, he
had been only part-way listening and had concluded that I was just shoving any ‘ol plug up in my tender bits).
Me: Yes, they are -
Dr. Wu: What is
the name of this product? (At this point, he turns his paper over and begins to
scribble out some notes.)
Me: They are called Poise Impressa Bladder Supports, and
they come in three sizes…
Dr. Wu: Oh, three
sizes? Hmmmmm…I have never heard of these.
Me: Yes, they are
brand new and they are being marketed as alternatives to adult pads and adult diapers, and I am pretty
certain that this product has caused a bacterial infection.
Long story short, after the Dr. and I work our way through
some language barrier issues, an exam up in stirrups then ensues, a sample is
taken and, indeed I have Bacterial Vaginosis. I looked at the Dr. and said "I knew It!" all proud, as if I had won some sort of self-diagnosis lottery.
Dr. Wu writes the script (the script that I had earlier hoped
I could just get over the phone, because
these infections are so common, like yeast infections. No deal – anti-biotics are not yet OTC.
So – what’s next for me?
Kegals, B#tches. for. fucking. real.
No joke this time. I
gotta try to keep some things in-tact for as long as possible.
I will report back later.
And just say NO to Poise Impressa.
2 comments:
FYI: I just saw an ad for *Botox, in treating bladder leakage problems in women. Next on your list?
Seriously, if/when i make my first cool million botox for my bladder will be #1 on my list...thanks for the tip! :o)
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