F.E.A.R.

False Evidence Appearing Real?  I think not. 

And that has become a very popular internet meme as of late and whenever I see it, it bothers me ever so slightly…like the feeling you get when someone is trying to sell you something for no other reason than to further their own agenda.  I am very familiar with that particular feeling and can feel it from great distances. 

  

False Evidence Appearing Real.  First of all, this acronym is waaaaaaay to simplistic when it comes to my experience of fear.  There are many reasons why I feel fear.  Most often, I will experience fear when I feel or perceive that something or someone is threatening me.  Certainly some of the fear I experience is unfounded, exaggerated for one reason or another, and, if not checked and dealt with quickly, can tend to grow into something super-difficult to dismantle, like paranoia.  But in many other ways, my experience of fear is real, it is necessary, and it can work in my favor.   If I am able to hold tight, nailed to the spot, I receive the gift of courage.  And I really think that courage begets courage.   

I am back into the book “When Things Fall Apart,” by Pema Chodron.  This is one of my go-to books, so please don’t worry too much about my state of be-ing just because its in my repertoire at the moment.  Things are not actually “falling apart” around me, at least not in a way that I feel I cannot manage.  I have just found this lovely gem of a book to be extremely helpful when I find myself in particularly challenging times. 

A few passages from the first chapter titled “Intimacy with Fear:”

"Fear is a universal experience….It’s not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown.  It is part of being alive, something we all share...Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."

"What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye – not was a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and thinking.  The truth is that when we really begin to do this, we’re going to be continually humbled.  There’s not going to be much room for the arrogance that holding on to ideals can bring.  The arrogance that inevitably does arise is going to be continually shot down by our own courage to step forward a little further."

-     (from a student) “Buddha nature, cleverly disguised as fear, kicks our ass into being receptive.”

So perhaps fear is kind of like stress – a little bit of it is actually helpful and helps you grow in ways you might not have otherwise.  Too much fear can be harmful….very, very harmful.  Believe me – I know.  I gots stories, lots n lots of stories…

False Evidence Appearing Real.  Perhaps there is a truth to this at the most essential level of my be-ing.  I have heard (or read) that no-thing “real” can ever be destroyed.  And it is true that my essence – pure energy – can neither be created nor destroyed.  In my daily walks through life though, in this-here body on this-here third dimension, my feelings of fear are as real and as worthy of my attention, respect and inquiry as my feelings of love.  

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”

             - Pema Chodron