So I spent me birthday in me birthday suit!

I have always loved my birthday.  As early as I can remember (me on my 3rd birthday),   As I grew up, it became symbolic of the ONLY DAY IN THE YEAR where I had license to, in every way, have it “my way.”  Or the highway.  I mean, I’m not bitchy about it – I don’t have to be.  People generally seem to want to treat you well and just really special on your birthday.  It’s sort of like an unwritten birthday code – and each party leaves happy!  Win-win!
my birthday brought a smile to my eyes and a joy in my heart.

So sometime in April of this year, I was thinking about my birthday and feeling like it was a milestone of sorts.  #46 is officially on this side of 50.  Wow.   Staunchly aware of my “middle-aged-ness,” merely in terms of the math.  Odds are – I am more than ½ though this life journey.  And I am feeling a lot of gratitude about getting to #46 and looking forward to having more adventures.  And so – somewhere in all of that excitement, existential pondering, and just plain reverie, I decided that it would be a fine idea I intended to throw myself a party.

What a roller-coaster it’s been!  From the high-highs of visualizing what I wanted it to be, to the low-lows of feeling sad and unimportant when I would receive declines to my invite.  Then – wouldn’t you know it, my party turned out just the way I wanted it.  And I’m never gonna do it again. 

My party was a two-part affair: part #1 was lunch and people watching at the Grand Lake farmer’s market.  Something I love to do so much each weekend, I wanted to share the experience on my special day with friends. 

So, in a mad dash out of the house after finishing final-final preparations, I roll up to the farmers market promptly at 1pm because I wanted to be the first one to my own party.  I’m “old skool” like that.  I set my huuuuuge blanket out at the top of the hill, and then sat down in the upper LH corner by myself.  I sat there for a moment.  I looked around – the hill wasn’t THAT packed with folks – still, I felt really conspicuous and greedy.  I checked in with self as to whether I should fold the blanket in half until of my other peeps came, but ultimately decided “Naw, f*ck being considerate, its MY BIRTHDAY! 

My relatively new friend Philly showed up first.   Philly was probably the best person to show up first at my party, because he doesn't mind sharing some of your pre-party angst for you/with you, and that really takes a load off!  When I sent him to locate some mandarins for me, Joce and Becca came next!  Then Philly returned with yummy fruit and bid us adeiu.  And that made me sad, because I had wanted to introduce him to some of my loved ones.  Waaa.

Then, several other folks came: Sandra and her son Xila, Scot and the Sun Tre!  And the two boys are relatively the same age, so that might be a good hookup.  Then my loved ones Patrick, Rita and Lisa came and snuggled on to my filling-up blanket.  Then my new friend Marina came and gave me some b-day love.  I had some fish tacos for lunch and then my good friend Lisa M. came with her loved one, and the blanket was full.  Around 3pm, a group of us walked to my house for part #2 of my celebration: cake and libations. 

If you are  my facebook friend (and receive my “feed”), you will  know that I went through some stress on day #1 of my birthday week because my house was covered in a layer of dust and grime, some of which just wasn’t going to receive any attention.  

Well, late Friday night, at the 11^th hour, I had to make some decisions about any last-minute cleaning jobs that were likely to happen.  “The Loo,” I finally decided, was what needed the most attention.  This is the room that would see the most use and, so, THIS was where I really needed to shine!

I got real practical and real creative then.  First, the monstrosity of the rusted, dust-covered metal framed corner unit had to be removed.  Not only was it not being used properly, it was also becoming a dumping ground for products/processes I no longer use or are outdated.  Like it’s a rare occasion when I use the benzoyl peroxide …does it really need to be out on display?

And I pared down the products I use daily to two baskets, brought in the toddler table and chair that no longer fits Tre, added some flowers and some chachkis.  I am very proud of my work. As to the rest of the house, not great, but not bad…not bad at all. 

We met my friend Gar on the way to my house – so happy he showed up!  Once at home, several other folks joined us – my old friend (and former d.j. partner) Theresa and her loved one Mark, my neighbors Leslie and Linval, Claire.  And then my other neighbor Lisse came, and it was officially time for cake. The boys joined us for cake - Tres Leches (not to be confused with Tre’s Leches, which has been officially shut-down for several years now) and a vegan chocolate cake.  I managed to eat three pieces, and I know at least one other person (not naming names) who did the same.  #cakecoma #asleepfortwelvestraighthours #ahem.

I was happy, and at the same time, I sensed there were some folks missing who I was really looking forward to seeing: for starters, my newest sister-friend Kim whom I met on BART a few months back and we hadn’t yet spent any time together, but I knew I really wanted her there.  And do you know what – 15 minutes later, there she was with her loved one, on my porch!  And just as I was really settling into a very decent birthday buzz, my dear sister-friend Ali’a showed up, marching up my porch – determined and bearing many gifts: strawberries, bubbly and a live orchid plant.  Oh dear.  The orchid is soooooo lovely, and I am feeling so very sad that it’s just not going to last long.  But Alia just suggests that I enjoy its beauty while I can.  

And then, as I was bursting over with joy at who showed up at my party, my long-long-long-time sister-friend Mia showed up and it was all over.  I was officially verkelmpt (photo shown below). 

It was after 7 when the last folks left – actually, one of them (not naming names) started following ME back up the stairs, before she realized that her loved on was going the other way.  She told me she was “just following her heart.”  I love you, sister!

And I love all of you, even those of you were unable to be there.  Your presence was felt and missed. 

Oh, and the nekkid part?  Today, May the 4^th, the duke and duchess of Dorkdom (that would be will and me) took one of our epic adventure trips, this one up the coast towards Santa Cruz.  This here is a photo from the car of a skydiver.  

First, a stop at Bonnie Doon Beach to shed clothing and let the sun touch our skin.  As we were on our way out, a frenchie-man came over and told us how dangerous it was to sit so close far back (towards the cliff).  Nice of you to tell us on the way out. Preesh.

Then, back in the car, to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and the roller coaster (don’t be surprised if the photo of my “nip-slip” ends up somewheres on the interwebs), and a caramel apple.  Then off for a sauna, hot tub and final birthday sunnin'' at the Kiva Retreat House.

And, do you know that you can get lots of stuff for free on your birthday if you ask?  I got free cake at Whole Foods, a discount at Kiva and a free dildo at Good Vibrations (wait, everyone got a free dildo yesterday).  Anywhoo, the point is, people want to make you happy on your birthday, and all you have to do is ask.  

And here is what I would ask of all of you: remember to remind your loved ones how much they mean to you, not just on their birthday, but whenever you feel it.  Feeling special is not meant to come just one day (or week, or month) out of the year.  It is an everyday kind of feeling. Make it happen. 

xo

m