So I did it – on the eve of the Full Moon. I got married. To me.
My vows? Well, i began stressing about these - like clockwork - the night before the big day! I wanted everything to be perfect. I mean, I’m
only gonna marry myself ONCE in my lifetime (hopefully!). Then I remembered: the love letter I wrote to
myself on my 33rd birthday, 2001, when I had left my husband. Perfect.
May 4th, 2001
My Dearest Maureen –
It has been too long, far too long since I have written to you. Since I have expressed my truest, deepest feelings of love towards you. I promise not to let time slip by like that again. You are far too special, far too precious to me.
From the deepest part of my soul grows the love I feel for you. I feel it in my toes spread upwards until it engulfs my entire body. Your eyes, lips, caramel-colored skin all beam, shine lightness and beauty. A beauty that I have never witnessed before. A beauty so soft, pure, and warm that it fills my heart with joy.
You are the great beauty I have wished for my entire life. You make my life so complete, so whole. To lose you would be to lose myself…an experience I have gone through before in my lifetime. An experience that is so painful, I would not wish it on my least favorite person.
Yes, my dear Maureen, we have had our turbulent times, our ups and downs, our trials and tribulations. Through it all, I have held you deep in my heart. For I know that you are a precious gift to me. I only hope, Maureen, that I have done the same for you.
Maureen, it hurts me deeply to see you hurt, to see you cry, fret, struggle. When I look at you, I see all the beauty, joy, compassion, love, emanating from your golden aura. I only wish I had the power to reflect back my image onto you. To allow you to see what I see. If only you were able to catch one glimpse of yourself from my eyes, I am certain that all the doubts, feats, insecurities you carry about yourself would melt away, like the first snow on a warm fall day.
My Dearest Maureen –
It has been too long, far too long since I have written to you. Since I have expressed my truest, deepest feelings of love towards you. I promise not to let time slip by like that again. You are far too special, far too precious to me.
From the deepest part of my soul grows the love I feel for you. I feel it in my toes spread upwards until it engulfs my entire body. Your eyes, lips, caramel-colored skin all beam, shine lightness and beauty. A beauty that I have never witnessed before. A beauty so soft, pure, and warm that it fills my heart with joy.
You are the great beauty I have wished for my entire life. You make my life so complete, so whole. To lose you would be to lose myself…an experience I have gone through before in my lifetime. An experience that is so painful, I would not wish it on my least favorite person.
Yes, my dear Maureen, we have had our turbulent times, our ups and downs, our trials and tribulations. Through it all, I have held you deep in my heart. For I know that you are a precious gift to me. I only hope, Maureen, that I have done the same for you.
Maureen, it hurts me deeply to see you hurt, to see you cry, fret, struggle. When I look at you, I see all the beauty, joy, compassion, love, emanating from your golden aura. I only wish I had the power to reflect back my image onto you. To allow you to see what I see. If only you were able to catch one glimpse of yourself from my eyes, I am certain that all the doubts, feats, insecurities you carry about yourself would melt away, like the first snow on a warm fall day.
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| On the Eve of my wedding, the moon from my back porch, Oakland, CA. |
Maureen, my darling, I want to dance with you through the meadows on a
golden afternoon. I want to stroll along
the beach, nude, with the warm sun baking our bodies. I want to hug you on your 90th
birthday!
I am so honored to be in your life. To share with you your hopes, dreams, fears
and pleasures. Please be a part of my
life, for now and always. You have my
heart.
Forever
yours,
Maureen
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Whole-y Matrimony - 1/3/2015 |
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