AND THEN, THE WORST THING HAPPENED: NOBODY SHOWED UP – 10/20/17

So, unless you have been living under a rock, (or we just don’t know each other, or you don’t participate in any of the social medias, or you have been busy, or out of town, or at work, or eating a snack) you are aware of a new movement medicine offering that I started last week called MOGA, which stands for Mo’s Yoga.  

FIRST CLASS - Photo credit Maryam Roberts

Our first class took place on 10/10/17, and we had a good size crowd of 19 yogis.  I was thrilled, though I knew that exactly HALF of that number came from one friend, her family and the friends she invited.  I had anticipated that the second class wouldn’t be as well attended - 6 people showed up - and then there was the unexpected and unfortunate venue change I had to manage after the first week.

Class #3: three people showed up, including my roommate, so that doesn’t really count, does it.  I mean, I guess it does kinda count since it was a body I was teaching, but he showed up more for me than for himself.  

And class #4?  Nobody.  Nobody showed up.  Zero attendees.  Nada, nothing, no one.  And I had my 14 year old Sun doing my door and told him he could come up at 7:10.  And at 7:10 he came up, walked straight to me and gave me the warmest, most wonderful hug.  

And you might think that zero attendance would motivate me to re-think whether this is really something that I should be pursuing…I mean, if I was on the outside looking IN, I would certainly wonder whether NOW is the time to throw in the proverbial towel.  But now is NOT the time, my brothers and sisters.  And quite honestly, MOGA has become somewhat of an obsession for me, and the idea of failure doesn’t seem like much of an alternative.  At least not a good one.   Because I think movement medicine is needed right now in our world, in a big, big way.  And, thanks to the few die-hard fans of mine who continue to tell me how much they appreciate what I do, I am not stopping, nope.  Re-tooling, maybe, but I am not stopping.  At least not yet.  Ask me again in a couple of months.

a reminder i wrote on my livingroom chalkboard 3 months before class started.  i mean, i obvs. still AM attached to the result, but think of it more as a *mantra*

Over the past several years, I have developed this theory about LIFE.  And it goes something like this: each and every one of us has a special skill (we may even have MORE than one, but I happen to have one, and that is movement/touch), and our job, our duty, our obligation is to DISCOVER this special skill.  And if we are fortunate enough to have the time, space, patience, fortitude to discover our special skill, then we must offer it to the world.  That’s it, that’s all there is to it - we MUST.  It’s quite simple, but it’s not easy.  Because when one offers themselves up to the world, especially to the world we currently live in, with its negativity, stress, darkness, despair, then we also open ourselves up to *rejection*.  And even though this may not be what is truly happening (the rejection part), I am an adoptee.  And as an adoptee, because I experienced what felt like the ultimate rejection at a time when I didn’t have the words to describe what I was feeling, nor did I have my mother there to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok, this is EXACTLY what it feels like in my heart. 

a reminder i wrote on my livingroom chalkboard 2 weeks before class started.

So – I am learning how to take in what feels like rejection, hold it in my heart, and transmute that into something else – determination, drive, joy, even humor.  Because everything IS going to be OK.  I just may need to re-tool just a bit.  Perhaps my target market is off, perhaps my music, perhaps it just needs time.  

The other day, after day #2 when I went crying to a beautifully supportive friend of mine about the difference in class size between the first and the second (little did I know I was in for far greater disappointment) she offered me this from one of her mentors, Tony Robbins: “We overestimate what we can accomplish in one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in five years.”

So yeah...looks like I am taking the long game approach on this one.  Because my goal with this offering is to assist each and every one of my students with moving into FULL EMBODIMENT…that place where we live - and thrive - FULLY in our bodies, staying connected to these vehicles that house our minds and souls.  And full embodiment is our birthright, yet it remains so elusive for many of us.  Especially those of us (like myself) who, as James Joyce says in the opening pages of his short Story A Painful Case:  “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.”

This was me.  Most of my life.  Until I found yoga.  I came into the practice of yoga when Tre was in my belly.  I stayed for the movement medicine; the new ways I was learning to explore and connect with my physical body, the skills I was developing to help me work with the mind THROUGH the physical body, and I would say that I have the fiercest “monkey mind” of anyone that I know.  And when I practice asana (pose/posture), that monkey mind gets quiet for a bit…and what a relief that is!  Phew, right?!? A little piece of mind, ffs!

I began to take my practice seriously in 2014, and became a teacher in 2015.  And when I found that I was able to assist OTHERS in getting re-connected with their own bodies, my heart began to soften, and soften, and soften.  I mean, that’s really what it’s all about as far as I am concerned – helping others to help themselves.  

So MOGA will be around for a while, and I hope that those of you who have not made their way to a class will eventually make it – and those who have come will come back, again and again.  Because I guarantee you, re-connecting with your body will be the best thing you ever did for yourself.  The best.  

MOVEMENT IS MEDICINE.  Dose up…over and over and over again.